First he asked if I thought I could go home and rest the same, the next thing I knew we were discussing a transfer. I was good with it. I casually called Jeff to let him know. My mom was coming to spend the day with me so I let her know what the plan was. I was fine.
Until--my wonderful nurse walked in and seemed panicked. Racing around the room and packing my things. She told me the transfer would happen within a half hour. She was shocked! She didn't expect this to be his decision.
I remember my sister Sherrill called--we had forgotten something that Connor needed to turn in at school. She asked if I could talk.
They entered the room with a stretcher.
The tears started rolling.
I couldn't talk and asked her to call the school and I would call her later.
I cried and I cried. I was scared. I was alone and my only comfort was the nurse I had grown to love was riding along with me.
I didn't know where the tears were coming from but I couldn't make them stop. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks. I didn't want to ride in an ambulance but had no choice. A short trip across the street seemed like the longest ride of my life.
I arrived at OSF St. Francis. The room was not as nice. It wasn't a private room which got me all upset again. I had visions of staying in the hospital and having movie parties with my son as I was in here for the long haul.
My mom arrived and was upset for me and told Dr. Jack that I was not happy. He was confused--I had been fine with it and all I was thinking now was "What if I had said I could go home and rest well?" The day was busy getting acquainted with a new place and schedule, a trip to see the specialist, and my first steroid shot.
Honestly--it was probably one of the worst days on my journey. I finally broke down a bit. I think I felt selfish. I was never concerned with how Ella was doing---I knew in my heart she was going to be fine. I had faith in God that he would take care of her. I was selfish because I spent the day worried about me and how I was not happy. A selfish day of worrying about the wrong things. I needed to step up to the plate, this journey was about a healthy baby not about my own comfort.
A copy of the email that was sent to my co-workers, family, and friends on September 9, 2009:
Hey everyone! Just thought I would fill you all in with the events of our day. We have been on a bit of a roller coaster ride for the past few weeks. Most of you know I spent the weekend at Methodist. It started as a 24 hour watch which lead to some labs that were questionable and some blood pressures spikes. An increase of meds have stabilized the blood pressures. The blood work has looked good all weekend but we did find out today that there are a few things they are watching with my liver enzymes. They are still in the normal range but there are some trends with the numbers. I do not know what that means exactly except that they will continue watching it.
This morning started with a nice chat with my OB and at first we were talking about if I could have the same kind of bedrest at home as I was getting in the hospital. Knowing that it is almost impossible to have the same kind of rest the conversation moved onto what was happening with my body. They officially say that I have toxemia/pre-eclampsia. It is currently considered mild. As long as it can stay mild then we are good to keep controlling it with blood pressure meds and bedrest. The problem is that it can go from mild to bad overnight at times or it can stay that way for weeks. Knowing that things can change quickly and that I am just today 31 weeks my doctor is concerned that if we would have to deliver suddenly in the next ten days then I would be at the wrong hospital for baby. Within the hour of this conversation I was being transferred to OSF. It sounds as if I will be in the hospital for the remainder of my pregnancy. Not sure on all the details and my doctor did say he just can't predict anything but for now we get through the next seven to ten days. 32 weeks is magic number (although I would feel much better about 34 weeks). They also decided to give me steroid shots today as well just in case we would have to deliver soon. Right now we just pray for God's timing and that Ella's arrival is planned perfectly and that she will be ready.
I know that we are at the right place for now but today was a hard day for me. It was very sudden and I didn't even have time to get someone up to the hospital and when they showed up with a stretcher to take me to the ambulance with I was over the edge a bit. Much better now. I have also gotten to talk to doctor more and I feel much better. I have seen the specialist over here and got to see baby Bradford again today. She is weighing in at 3 pounds 11 ounces which is good for now and she looks great. The specialist said it would be best to stay pregnant longer and he didn't see a reason from the babies standpoint to deliver right away. So lets just keep hoping that things stay stable on my end as well.
That is our news today. Hoping things just stay calm for now. Your prayers, phone calls, and texts have all been so appreciated!! Keep praying as our family gets into the routine of me not being home at all and keep praying for God's timing for Baby Ella!
Kelley
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