A Blessing Amidst a Storm

The 48 hours after I delivered were tough!  The magnesium was taking its toll on me.  The nausea and vomiting started immediately.  As soon as I was moved from recovery I asked "when can I see her?"  The answer was as soon as I could sit along side of the bed for an extended amount of time.  That was around eleven o'clock the night she was born and it took until almost six o'clock the next morning before I saw my sweet daughter.

My Blessing....

Ella Rose had arrived at 8:46 PM on September  12.  She weighed 3 pounds, 8 ounces and she was the tiniest baby I had ever seen up close.  She was born at 31 weeks and 3 days, 8 1/2 weeks before her due date.  She was a miracle and she was a trooper!!  She needed no breathing support that first night and she was very well behaved in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU).  She was a blessing sent straight to me from heaven.  What I remember most was how skinny her arms were.  Jeff's wedding ring would have easily fit around them.  She was tiny but very mighty!

Unfortunately my first visit was short and sweet.  I started to not feel so well and Jeff got me out of the way of the baby just in time.  I was horrified that I had just gotten sick in the NICU with all these tiny babies.  The nurses around me took it in stride and tried to reassure me that it was okay.  I was devastated!

The next day and a half didn't get much better.  They gave me something for the nausea but the magnesium was leaving me completely sleepy.  It is much of a blur.  Lots of visitors came but I couldn't stay awake to talk with them.  I had to be re-catheterized and things were not going well.  I dreamed of my sweet baby one floor down from me and waited for updates every time Jeff or visitors went down to see her.  I missed her, I yearned for her, but I was not strong enough to see her.  A mommy's worst nightmare.  I feared she wouldn't know me, I feared we wouldn't bond, I feared that this wasn't going to get better!  But God was in control and he calmed me and gave me peace.  Ella was in good hands and everything was going to be okay.  I just needed to get well.

That day Jeff had the opportunity to hold her and they even got her dressed.  Things he kept from me at the time because he didn't want to upset me or break my heart.

Connor also met his baby sister that afternoon.  I am thankful and doubly blessed to have two great kids!  I cherish these pics and I am so thankful Jeff captured Connor's love, excitement, and concern for his baby sister.  He loved her at first sight!

Jeff knew the nurse taking care of Ella on this date.  Another "God Wink" for us on this day.  Jeff said she was amazing with Connor and answered all his questions and really gave him a chance to really bond with his sister.  Amazing and so appreciated!  I was beginning to realize we were in a very special place.  Not a place you hope to end up in, but an amazing place!